Running from an Angel 1/2 Marathon 1-7-12 (My FIRST!)

I have been thinking about writing this race report since the day it happened. Even now I do not know what to really say about it. It was one that there was not much to say about.

I mean who wants to write a race report that is not a happy or a GREAT one period let alone regarding their FIRST 1/2?! Surely not me. I don't. Truth is though I have to.

It may not be the normal race report where I am gloating the whole time and & beyond happy. This is real though, and in life you will face these challenges. :)

Let me start with a little background starting 2 days before. (1-5-12) On this day I was worrying about EVERY last detail. Like seriously from start to finish, hows, whys, whats, whens, whos...ya you get it. This was a day of panic. On this day I also had dinner of undercooked pork. I popped it in microwave to try to cook it more but did not help much so I went w/ eating it since we were already really late for dinner.

Next day (1-6-12) I woke not feeling well. I just felt...ick. In the way that my stomach hurt, I had no appetite, I can't even describe it...I just did not feel "right". I chalked it up to nerves. That is when I wrote my last blog. Talking about the nerves.

TMI WARNING BELOW!!!!!

Later that night (still 1-6-12) at dinner time I was still feeling the same but little worse. I realized then...wait this can NOT be nerves. It never was. I had stomach cramps AND gas. The TMI warning is that the gas was beyond RANCID. So sorry for telling you this!! It was AWFUL. It would make you tear and gag. It was just bad bad BAD. I just wanted to not move the WHOLE day. I was so nausea, and miserable.

Now the morning of the race...(1-7-12)

I woke up feeling same way but probably even little more worse since now I did not want to even TRY to eat or drink anything. I just wanted to vomit, curl in a ball, and do anything BUT move. Frankly breathing made me nausea.

I FORCED myself to eat something since I knew even though I NEVER have eaten (except a banana) before a run I NEEDED to before my 1rst half and there was 2 hours before my race so it was perfect. I ate a whole wheat bagel thin, 1/2 TB grape jelly, & PB2, w/ a banana. I knew these things would not bother me BECAUSE I had eaten the jelly and bagel thin before on other items before a race (that was in afternoon) so they did not bother me separate they would be fine together.

I just wanted this day to be over with. There was no nerves, there was no jitters, there was no adrenaline (I always have those before a race!!) ALL there was was the intense feeling of wanting to vomit and poop my pants (literally again sorry!) at the same time.

I chomped on 2 tums shortly after and headed out for the long drive. ALL I could think about was "don't poop your pants" over and over again. Trust me I recited it over and over again from the time I woke up through out the WHOLE RUN!

We arrived & nothing was different then it had been EXCEPT there were no porta potties EXCEPT 1 in the middle of the race. Man I prayed literally to let me get through this NOT having to poop. I was truly miserable. I did not want to be there nor do it because I did not want to move. I felt so nasty.

Count down begins...10..9...8...7...6..5..4...3...2...1...and were off. I took off SLOWLY and remained SLOW the whole time. Those of you know during race time you naturally pick up speed and all the excitement. Ya...not today. Not for me. No way. Even if I wanted to try (which I did not) my body did NOT pick up any speed but instead LOST speed.

Right when we turn the corner (1/4 mile after start) there was the 1rst HILL. I literally said in my head (I don't THINK I said it out loud but I may have lol) SERIOUSLY? ALREADY?!!

This course is ALL rolling STEEP STEEP hills. Lord...help me. PLEASE?!

I chugged SLOW SLOW SLOW up the hills not caring because all I wanted to do was get itover with no matter what. I just wanted to go home.

Note: I do not mean to be a downer about my 1rst half but I felt like ^%$#.

I DID want to be there believe me that is why I went but at the same time I just wanted to crawl in a ball and vomit.

I was happy I was doing this. It just consisted of ALOT of mantras, talking to my self, struggling, and overwhelming urge to cry like a baby because I wanted to whine about not feeling good. I did not though. I held my head up and I chugged along. Telling myself only 12 miles to go. Water stop is only  so and so amount ahead you can stop there.

When I went into this (I think before I realized I was sick) I planned on ONLY stopping at water stop @ miles 4 and 9 to grab ONLY a gel. I mean I payed $95 for this race (65 for race and 30 for entrance to area) LEAST I can do was get a gel since my calories wont allow me any of their food. I also brought my camelbak.

That was what was planned. Now what really happened was I stopped at ALOT more then just those.

I was doing great. I chugged along going uphill uphill uphill. I chose to take sips from my camelbak (which for long runs ALWAYS consist of 1/2 water, 1/2 powerade zero) when I passes a water stop. I did nto stop until mile 4 when I planned on it. I grabbed a gel and fought FOREVER to get it in ym pouch! Grr lol

So I walked through to grab that gel then started running again. I also grabbed cup of water. I had brought 2 GU's with me but I still wanted there gels (hammer gel) to have so I cna actually try them out. I was supposed to take my 1rst gel @ mile 5.

Well mile 5 passed and I did NOT want to take it. I swear I was so nausea that like before the idea of any liquid and/or food/gel or anything made me feel that much more worse. Mile 6 came and I knew I should take the gel. Just cause that is what I trained for. I could probably go w/o it the whole time but I should just take it. SO I did. UGH....I did not like that idea. Neither did my stomach. Can I puke now please? ::tummy thunder::

Up to this point I had only taken 2 SIPS of my camelbak stuff. When I drank it it made me feel so horrible. I just could not do it anymore.

Almost to the turnaround a running coach from FB I know saw me and "cheered" for me giving me a high five. Wow at that point you have no idea how much I needed that.

I reached the turnaround point. I called out my number so the person could record it saying I reached there...

I thought OMGoodness I am half way there!! I know I am making this sound so bad...I was not moping my whole time I just could not be jumping up and down on the outside like my mind and body was on the inside. I told myself alot of times Baby girl, WOMEN you are doing this...you are earning this. Get that bling baby!! :-D Among other things. I was happy and excited I was doing this. I mean I was doing this PERIOD, let alone I was PUSHING THROUGH when I felt horrible. That says alot about myself.

Starting mile 7 is when I had to walk so much more then I wanted to. A whole lot more. The hills were killing me, I was tired, I gave up on running the whole thing. I could not even tell you how much of running and walking I did. My legs burned, my lungs burned, my energy was never to be found to begin with, EVERYTHING in me wanted to quit...EXCEPT my heart. THAT is what I followed. I don't listen to the other things..I follow my heart when it comes to running. Everything else is just EVIL!

I walked through the rest of the stations to get water. THAT was the only thing I could drink. I NEEDED water. My body WANTED the water so I took it and gulped the whole dang full cup down. Awww...this is better!

I ran a few secs then had to walk. I do not mean like the Galloway method. There was not  an ahh break feeling then able to push myself faster because of it. It was a I...want...to ...collapse....walking of 16+min per mile walk and then a prob even slower run. I could not run for long. At this point I was exhausted from the dang BRUTAL friggin hills! Let's not forget I never had energy.

Speaking of energy...GU did not help me. GU's have NEVER helped me. I tried them 2 other times and they did nothing for me but I thought I just needed to give them a chance. Nah they just dont work for me :( Hmm....

I never took my 2nd GU, For one because if the 1rst did not help and they never do why would I want to take a 2nd...and second MOST IMPORTANTLY there was no way my body would allow me to...unless I wanted to be in the pushed hurling.

I got to mile 12. :') ONLY 1 mile to go. I touched that mile 12 sign (I was walking up to it @ that point) took deep breath, and said to myself run this last mile. DO NOT WALK. Finish strong hun. You can do this!!

12.30 came and that went out the window. I would not finish if I did not walk all that I did. I do not know if it was cause the hills, cause I was not well, or heck both combined. I ran some walked some til 12.85 miles. I finally saw the downhill finish (1/4 mile) and ran it...ALL. FINALLY. haha

I turned a few corners and crossed over those finish mats.

The finish should be something exciting, but it wasn't. Nobody was cheering. Nobody was standing there clapping or smiling. As I turned those corners people stared at me with dead stares. Noone except the timing guy was there at the finish mats, and even HE had his head down.

My family was there indeed, but there backs were turned. They knew nothing until I walked up to them and said "wow...thanks.".

At this point my body was HURTING I wanted to cry. I mean literally it ached so bad. I had aches,pains, cramps, everything. It was taken my breath away. ALL I wanted to do was stretch cry, and drink all that water they had. So I got a few glasses and that is exactly what I did. We left right away and headed home.

That's it. I even had to stand at the finish line trying to get the medal from the kid handing them out. I was standing right in front of him WAITING for my medal. He didn't care. I had to say "um...do I get one of those?!" with an attitude he said "uh? YA!!" rolling his eyes. Ugh...kid your lucky you are under 18.

With all this I finished in 2:31:54.

Seem like a crappy 1rst 1/2?! Probably. I mean I agree it was. Would I change it if I could? NO!!!!

Do you know why?!

I finished! I did it! I got my bling! I was able to do something I never thought in a million years I would be able to do!

I pushed through my circumstances. Felling like HELL I was able to finish.

The hills were BEYOND brutal. Not just because I was sick..but because that is how they are. They are known to be brutal vicious steep rolling crappy hills!!

I was sick....but I DID IT!!
It was brutal hills...but I DID IT!!

I DID MY 1rst 1/2 marathon!!!!

My July's 1/2 is the EXACT place with just a different name since it is in the dead HEAT.

I have my next 1/2 on March 10. That is when I have a 1/2 every 2 weeks for 6 weeks.

Will I do better?!

Probably not. I hope I do not do worse BUT I do not expect to do better. Why?!

Well cause EVERY single 1/2 is HILLS!!! My next one is told/known to be ALOT worse then this one. So I can only expect to do same if not a little worse.

Know what matters to me? That I FINISH! That's all!

I wore my bling the WHOLE...ENTIRE...DAY! ;)

I am not just saying this folks I mean it...I thought of you guys while I was running it. ALL the encouragement, words, hugs, spirit, EVERYTHING you guys have shown me daily was with me and still is. You guys are my family! I thank EACH and EVERYONE of you from the bottom of my heart!
XOXOXO

Now here are some pictures!

**Warning!! I was still smiling throughout the whole thing so be advised you will see smiles!** haha Just cause I was sick does not mean I should not smile or act like ME. This was going to happen no matter what. Im stubborn!

Back of my tech shirt....it was brought to my attention yesterday...my son. Look @ him in the background there. Yes indeed he was copying my pose :') I did not know he was caught in the pic until someone asked me if that is what he was doing. My heart smiled and I giggled. THAT'S MY BOY!

 What I felt like doing...

Oh boy....here I go!

My mother and I...

Right when I finished.

#1 is for my FIRST 1/2!

My race bling!

After a warm bath. Sporting my bling the entire day.

THANK YOU ALL for being there/here with me for my lifelong journey!!!