Dang you nerves....

My nerves are plain out SHOT! They have NEVER been like this before! I slept just BARELY last night. Hard time falling asleep, hard time staying asleep, waking up super early.

To top it off I have no appetite, I am exhausted so all I want to do is SLEEP, my tummy is upset and I feel nausea!

I do not want to do anything except lay down stare ahead and NOT move, ALL....DAY...LONG.

That is how I started feeling last night. My nerves are plain out SHOT BECCCAAUUUSSEEE of my first 1/2 tomorrow!

I am a worry wart. Not just saying I mean REALLY. I have to PLAN everything out from the 1rst to last second. I HAVE to KNOW what I am goign to do before I do it.

So I have been FREAKING out on every little detail about the 1/2.

98% of the worry revolves around the issue of whether or not I want to bring my camelbak. I was sure I was NOT goign to but now I think I AM. There are so many pros and cons either way. Though there seems to be ALOT more CONS to BRINGING it. Thing is though the one big CON that is outweighing the pros of NOT bringing it is I WONT HAVE IT IF I NEED IT.

If this was a NORMAL flat 13 miler I would w/o a doubt not be questioning it. I mean my normal training runs of 13 miles I use 1 cup of 1/2 powerade zero 1/2 water solution. ONLY 1 cup the whole way. THIS course though is all HUGE hills...HUGE rolling HILLS.

I have never ran so many hills PERIOD let alone 13 miles of them. If you have ever ran hills I would hope you would know what a difference it makes in your breathing, and the way you feel.

Then I wanted to FORCE myself to WALK through the water stations so I can get used to it. I mean for my 1rst FULL in November I want to walk through the stations JUST to give my legs a LITTLE break so I make it through the 26.2 miles. If I am wearing my camelbak though I figure why do I need to walk through them if I have my own drink? I wont do it tomorrow and I wont do it for my full.

I AM going to walk through stations 4 and 9 though. JUST so I can grab a hammer gel. I have never tried them, and I am bringing my own GU's BUT I paid $95 (30 to enter lake mead & 65 for race) dang it and I am getting "nothing" except the bling, since I can not eat their food. Already planned tomorrow and have NO CALORIES to spare. So LEAST I can get out of it is 2 gels!! Then I can try them @ home one time.

I really dislike the unknown. I have never been this freaked out about a run/race EVER! I just do not feel "well". My nerves have gotten he best of me and this plain out sucks.

I know I need to enjoy it, and I hope & imagine when tomorrow comes I will. Well as MUCH as you can enjoy TORTUROUS  killer hills that is. LOL.

I am just so beyond nervous, scared, worried, and whatever else you can think.

I have to do CORE ST'ing today...and I have to find the power to do it. Seriously I really don't want to. I don't feel good.

I know when it comes to these things...knowing what is going to happen and how you are going to feel is IMPOSSIBLE.

Right now I just know my tummy is upset, I am not hungry, I don't want to eat drink or talk, and on a positive note...

I WILL FINISH MY FIRST HALF TOMORROW! NO...matter...what.

That is all folks!
XOXOXO