Nerves of longer miles & unplanned plans

I had planned on starting to add miles again in 3 weeks. Longest I have run has been 10 miles. I was going to start adding a mile for 2 weeks a scale back week and then 1 more add a mile week. Then that would put me @ 13 miles so I would finally be at half marathon distance. I mean considering starting Jan 2012 I will be running 1/2 marathons so I kind of need to cover that distance BEFORE my race. In 3 weeks that would have me run 13 miles only TWICE before I have to run/"race" it. Did not think to much about it. Well now just typing that made me realize dude only 2? lol Anywho I was supposed to run 11 miles in 3 weeks on the 26th. Ya well not anymore. I am running 11 miles TOMORROW for my long run. Since the furthest I have run was 10 I have been bouncing 9 and 10 every other week. Well I was not feeling 9. I was trying to decide on another 10 miles like last week or maybe 11? I am CRAVING mileage. So after thought (probably only very little thought) Ihave decided 11 miles tomorrow. Then from there on will add like I had panned. Then I will be bouncing from 13, 11, 13, 12 and repeat until my MARATHON training begins in July. Hopefully...I mean I may get CRAZY and want to add a little before then.

When I say I crave I really do mean it. I want to push myself. Though I am so beyond NERVOUS!!! So why am I crazy enough to want to face it? The thought of my 11 miles is freaking me out. As I have felt EVERY SINGLE TIME I have added mileage. I am so beyond nervous witht he fear of not being able to do it!! Sure is nerve wrecking. BEFORE when I would add on my own I would only add 1/2 a mile each week!!! So when I got to my most I knew I only had to run 1/2 more mile so about 6 EXTRA mins. NOW though I have to run ANOTHER ONE full mile which is another 12 mins when my legs want to stop. My marathon training has me add 2 miles when I add so I better get use to more then 1/2 mile. I want to believe I can do it.....I just have that little fear and self doubt. Worries me...Can I really make it THAT far? It is only going to get ALOT further form here on out!! Oh boy!

I am going to bring LARA  PB choc chip bar tomorrow. Last time was LARA choc coconut. I plan on eating 1/3 @ mile 5,7, and 9.

This is my background now on my computer:

Last night I had pasta and garlic bread. Yum. Tonight is squash and eggs (bread is my carbs) and tomorrow is pork cordon bleu. I ALWAYS crave protein when I run so I switched the pork (which was for 2day originally) and eggs. Yes I know eggs are protein but I mean I crave MEAT and starch and veggies so works perfectly.

So I just love how my plans become unplanned and my unplanned now becomes my plans haha. Have to go with it ya know. Seems like these last minute decisions work best...less time to fret and just a way to push yourself into something that makes you nervous. Heh no wonder I hit the submit button weeks ago on the signing up for a marathon when only day or so (for many months before as well) before I said no way I could never, I can't even run 1/2 marathon. GREAT way to shut yourself up. Really is. Doing things you think you can't by forcing yourself to do them. :') Can't explain it but maybe someone out there understands?

I started doing some ST'ing today (ab's). My hand is healing!! :) I have not had a bandage on it for 2 days now, and NOW I am starting to be able to wash and wet that hand. Softly but still. Still wont do my ST'ing tomorrow (lower body) I will start doing upper and lower next week. Give my knee and hand this weekend to heal more so I chance nothing.

Well that is about all folks!
XOXOXO

P.S did I mention...I AM SO NERVOUS about tomorrow's 11 miles?!!