Past few days have felt like they have been super busy. Though when I was done doing the things I had to do I felt restless. Like I should be doing cardio of some sort!!! Drives me nuts feeling bored.
The day before yesterday I had pizza for dinner. I had 2 slices but 4 breadsticks. I felt so out of control! :( I usually would have kept eating the pizza but I did NOT, but I should have only had ONE breadstick and ONE slice pizza. So I was beating myself up for that. Then yesterday I had a few small extra things that I could have chose better on. Such as granola, and granola bars, then some chips. I can't keep just eating fruit, cottage cheese, and yogurt every time I am hungry. Eh I will have too. Nothing else to have to snack on...
Anyways though I figured out a HUGE thing for me is I run...then I CRAVE meat. Like seriously. That is when it started. on Monday when I ran 1rst time of the week. I was having rice and chick peas for dinner and all I could think about is a BIG meal. BIG meal to me is MEAT (fish counts as meat for me just fyi) starch and VEGGIES. Not just a little bit of rice and a few chick peas. ANYTIME in the past when I have felt RAVAGED it is the same thing. Weird. So I think I just have to have protein with EVERY dinner. My body crave sit soooooo bad. I think that is a huge thing. I have finally listened and need to have protein and carbs with every dinner. Cause I crave bread (usually bagels) too @ the same time I crave MEAT. So....if I am listening to my body I have to follow it's signs. :)
Otherwise everything is going good. Still chugging along. I did my first HILLS yesterday. 3 miles of them!! Took me 35:17. Hopefully I will get faster and/or they will get easier. The area I went was like 1/8 mile up and down the hills. SO better then none.
I also wanted to talk about how I feel alone alot nowadays. I mean that in the way of I have to do EVERYTHING by myself. I have to keep taking a back seat and I can not stand it anymore. I am fed up with it. It is always Shawn being comfy and not inconvenienced. I have to find a way to take my boys trick or treating and walk the streets with them by myself. I have to go drop off paperwork next week at the last minute before deadline and I have to find a way there with my boys screaming on my side. All while Shawn takes the car (cause GOD forbid he takes bus). I have to be the one who gets tossed aside when he gets OUR vehicle that he is a COSIGNER on. We would not have the van if it were not for ME. I have to do everything everywhere for everything while he is comfy. I have to find a way to my 1/2 marathon's, I have to find a way to my marathon, I have to find a way to get to the races I go to every month and not be able to have the most important things there with me (my children!), I have to always take a back seat. I am tired of it. It is lonely. I have ALWAYS said I am a single mother in the way of I do everything one does EXCEPT I am married on paper. He is never there in person or any other way. So things were STARTING to become good for a week now...they are back more towards the old way. I am tired of making other's a priority when I am only an option.
So enough about that...:-D
I did my ST'ing for today. Today is a no run day. Of course I am going nuts!! There is no cardio for me to do! Grr.... tonight I am making sausage sandwiches...2 of them ;) I need MEAT!!! haha
That is about all...I believe folks!
XOXOXO
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